Why Humans are a Horrible Fantasy Race

The Human Race

We all know that the majority of humanity is probably pretty decent, but all it takes is a couple of nut jobs to screw everything up for the rest of… well… everything.  This goes for real life, and possibly the realms of fantasy as well.  This week I’ll finish off my look at the classic fantasy races for D&D and Pathfinder with the humans, and talk about how they are pretty much the worst when it comes to all races.

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Why Half-Orcs are Inhumane

Half_Orc_Paladin

Back when Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition released in 2000, those of us out there that had cut our teeth on AD&D 2nd Edition where privy to a slough of changes.  While some aspects were a call-back to the original Advanced Dungeons & Dragons and familiar to the generation of gamers before myself, of all the changes, revisions, updates, and rebirths to be had, half-orcs should have stayed in AD&D, and for good reason.  I continue my look at the classic Player Character races and plead with you to stop the inhumanity!

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Why Half-Elves are Half-Cocked

Half-Elves Demotivator

I’m continuing onward with my analyses of the classic fantasy gaming races and this week we’re taking a look at Half-Elves.  Now, if you’ve been keeping track of the stories (and you should be), you might anticipate this to be another railing against anything that has to do with Elves or Elvenkind.  Fear not, readers!  While I plan to be critical in my typical fashion, this week’s article isn’t necessarily anti-Half-Elf, but it’s probably going to come pretty damn close.

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Why Gnomes are Not That Bad

Crazy Gnome

So, a few weeks ago, Robert and I started a flame war on the site and Twitter, courtesy of a couple articles on our favorite (or, rather, least favorite) demihuman races.  While I professed to have a particular distaste for Elves, which I presented in a back-handedly complimentary fashion, Robert chose the rather abrasive route and insulted Dwarves outright.  Much to my delight, the debate roused my fellow Dwarf lovers to take up arms and defend the proud, industrious race, but there was one particularly interesting sentiment that surfaced: a vehement hatred of gnomes.  But really, what is there to hate?  This one’s for you, @HyveMynd!

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Why I Hate Dwarves

Hate_Dwarves-Main

Okay. Maybe hate isn’t the right word, but the fact of the matter is I REALLY THINK LITTLE (Ha, I’m punny!) of Dwarves, likely to the point of uncaring. First off, it’s a matter of principal for me, seeing as Matt absolutely loves the little bastards, however, let’s delve deeper into the complete disregard I hold against the smelliest of the demi folk. Sure, I may have played a Dwarf character once, but I was drunk and in Tijuana where those things are expected. The following are my (Properly-minded) opinions and they should be yours too. If you take offense or have a problem with it, I’m sure you just haven’t learned proper manners and are to be disregarded. Continue reading

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Episode 62 – The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Spider-man Where the Amazing Things Are

The time has finally come!  It’s been more than a decade since Peter Jackson took the world to Middle-earth for the first time, and now he’s gone and done it again.  Don’t let that there awesome Spider-man print there fool you, this is a very Hobbit-y discussion, but we just happen to have a little contest thrown in!  We’re joined this week by artist/illustrator extraordinaire, Dennis Salvatier, to discuss all things awesome about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey!  Bring your Dwarf-love, skip that second breakfast, and study up on your riddles as you get ready to join us on our journey from The Shire to The Misty Mountains on a brand new episode of Monkey in the Cage!

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