Episode 10 – Merry Monkeymas!

Season’s greetings to all you out there in the internet world!  Christmas is just a few days away and we, being the consumer whores we are, are celebrating the only way we know how.  Join us this week as we exchange gifts of questionable and embarrassing nature while simultaneously testing the limits of friendship and faith in humanity, for the low low price of $25 a person!  Plug in and listen up, because this is an episode you truly won’t want to miss.  From all the Monkeys to all of our listeners, Merry Whateveritisyoucelebrate!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:05:03 — 29.8MB)

(01:10) – Robert just can’t put those controllers down!  He cashes is on Electronic Arts‘ most recent sale and picks up Alice: Madness Returns and beats Fight Night Champion.  He also surprises the podcast crew with a special audio gift that only he, the editor, can provide.  Everyday we’re stuttering… it’s truly an understatement.

(05:48) – Matt’s been left out in the cold this holiday season his non-iPhone-iness, and apparently he’s taking it out on the residents in the app game Tiny Tower.  Thankfully for the oppressed and overworked bitizens in his Android, he also spent some time at the movies watching the newly released Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, which leaves the group wondering, how much more inspiration and research does his Steampunk game need?

(10:33) – Don’t you absolutely love spending time with extended and estranged family members during the holidays?  Yeah, neither does Ramses, so to de-frag and keep from going “Raging Rudolph” on everyone, he’s spending some long overdue time with Criminal Macabre: No Peace for Dead Men and Dark Horse Presents #4 – Resident Alien. Nothing like alcoholic, drug-addicted private investigators and anti-social aliens to distract from the holiday tension!

(13:39) – Steve Niles is the man!  Follwing up the discussion on Criminal Macabre, the group talks 30 Days of Night, how great Steve is to his fans, and his appearance of the season 3 finale of Spike TV’s Deadliest Warrior:  Vampires vs. Zombies.  Keep those vampires vicious, shark-like, and non-glittery, Steve!

(16:16) – Corporate America settles a months-long Facebook debate.  Maruchan, makers of the awesomeness that is Ramen noodles, responds to Karen’s letter and let’s us know which flavor really is the best.  Is it Beef?  Chicken? Maybe Oriental?  Listen and find out!  Oh, and Robert was right, Nissin makes Top Ramen… but ramen is ramen, right?

(20:40) – It’s present time!  In classic gamer fashion, we roll to see who gives first using our special LED d20 from ThinkGeek.com.  What do an English Alternative Rock CD, a Danny Glover movie, a Clyde Edgerton novel, and a porno from 1994 all have in common?  They’re all named Night Train and they were all bought by Karen, for Matt.  Sixteen years and he still can’t live this one down.  Listen to him turning red!

(27:00) – Get ready for Round 2!  Robert steps up his wrapping skills and misses the gag gift mark by actually buying Ramses stuff he finds awesome!  Who would have thought a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle t-shirt, a Leonardo Ski Mask, and the Andy Sidaris collection, Girls, Guns and G-Strings.  Watch the skateboard blow-up doll bazooka action here!  Gleaming the Cube and bank robberies for Christmas!!

(34:21) – Round 3!  Ramses gives Robert the gifts he’s always wanted – The 311 “Come Original” kit for men complete with blonde hair dye and pooka shell necklace.  Just when we thought it couldn’t get better, Robert also receives a personalized version of a very, very special book.  Can Robert Tell You About Aspbergers Syndrome?  Probably, or not, if you want him to, or not…Meow!

(42:15) – Matt makes his saving roll vs. not giving!  Karen receives her dream gift – her own personal, sparkling Edward Cullen action figure!  Complete with Luke Perry hair, sickly pasty skin, and ginormous head, this ‘tard-footed doll can’t stand on it’s own and is certain to make Karen swoon, with nausea.  Even better, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, as Matt’s Amazon.com “Recommended” feed is full of Twilight crap on a daily basis…

(46:02) – Robert almost upped the ante with a Justin Bieber singing toothbrush, which leads to our discussion on the worst gifts we’ve ever received.  Wrong-sized shoes for Karen, elephant fleece blankets for Matt, and Egyptian themed swag from the 99 cent store for Ramses.  Robert can’t remember, probably because the A.S. – Present Face, Present Face everywhere!!

(51:56) – We reminisce on the awesomely great gift wrapping we’ve encountered in the past.  Who knew citrus could be so versatile!

(53:21) – What’s better than the worst gifts ever?  The best gifts ever, duh!!  Karen got a Wii when they were impossible to find, Ramses received a legit Katana, Robert has sword envy, and Matt got a gun.  Weapons apparently make the best gifts.  Matt breaks things… alot of things…  Zombie Apocalypse here we come!

(58:58) – Don’t let Matt shakes his gifts, or your gifts, or touch things because he breaks things… a lot of things… or ruins them… seriously. You’ve been warned.

Closing Song – Come Original – Written and Performed by 311